Grass is Always Greener Syndome...

I'm guilty of suffering from the "Grass is Always Greener" syndome...No matter how many things I've got going in my favor, a part of my mind fixates on what I lack, not what I have. I believe that most women, if we're being really honest with ourselves, would say we're naturally discontented. And it's especially hard to feel satisfied in a culture that promotes a "more" mentality...and a "me" mentality to boot!
I met with a group of women this past winter who also happen to work in radio...we chatted about our marriages, children, and radio trends...and then one woman piped up that she's been hearing more and more of women leaving their husbands out of pure boredom and dissatisfaction. Another woman echoed that she's witnessed the same phenomena. Women are prone to abandon their marriages because the grass looks greener on the other side.
I think for a long while, men have gotten a bum wrap for having affairs and leaving their wives...but the tables have turned in this generation. With so many opportunities available to both genders in our over-indulged society, it can't be assumed that when a marriage goes sour, it's always the guy's undoing.
I'm doing a Beth Moore study with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law called "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things"...about arming yourself with God's power in the age of seduction. She writes that "since our hearts are deceptive in their natural form, sometimes our feelings tell us we're less satisfied than we really are." The anecdote to such an obedience problem is to ACTIVELY GIVE THANKS. So that's what I'm going to do...write out things to be thankful for.
1. I'm grateful that Christ loves me when I'm unlovable.
2. I've got a husband who adores and appreciates me...and is wholly committed to our marriage.
3. I've got a fulfilling job that breathes incredible purpose and fun into my life.
The list goes on and on...and let me tell you, I've got to remind myself to continuously do this because my mind is so prone to wander!

Marriage Advice

I cherish this photo above all the snapshots Jeff and I have taken in the (nearly) two years we've been married...Not only because I enjoy the way my hair looks (I can't remember the last time I've been to the hairdresser's!)...but because it captures the passionate intensity I so value in our relationship. I've always felt very emotionally and spiritually connected to my husband...We've had our shares of ups and downs...And our situation is anything but easy...But I will never love anyone more than I love Jeff. This morning our listeners called in with marriage advice. One woman said as her father walked her down the aisle, he reminded her that "love is a decision. It's not a feeling." Another guy called and said during an argument, you should "attack the problem, not the person!" Ummm...that's easier said than done! And finally, one woman called and said her marriage was horrible until her husband initiated praying with her daily. Only then did her marriage turn around. I concur with all the advice above and plan to take it home tonight to my hubby!

The Games We Play

I've learned to appreciate playing games since joining my husband's family. Jeff especially enjoys visiting his grandparents in the summer and playing a card game called "pinochle." Have you heard of it? I'm terrible at it, but got lucky this weekend with two runs and "double pinochle." I wish my family played more games with us when we were growing up. We didn't do much except sit around the television together, which fails to facilitate conversation or connection. Nowadays the kids are really into a card game called "skat." I hear it's the most popular card game in Germany...you should look it up and try it with your kids sometime. Some people like to play with dice...we like to play with chocolate chips and whoever wins gets the whole pile. Pretty sweet!
Jeff & I are enjoying lots of game nights with our friends this week since the kids are away at Camp Good News! They were so excited to leave...and Jeff & I are excited to get some quality alone time together to unwind.

Chris & Conrad Visit

The singing duo "Chris & Conrad" surprised Scott & I with a visit this morning. What a treat to hear them perform "Lead Me to the Cross" live! It gave me chills...and their upcoming single, "You're the One" is especially beautiful, like a love song to our Savior. I asked Conrad what inspired him to write the lyrics and he explained that he was so overcome with emotion for his wife, it naturally spilled into his writing. But in the song-writing process, it dawned on him that Lord shows him love that's infinitely greater than the love he shared with his wife. What a powerful realization and great inspiration for another tune that's sure to be a hit.
These guys made my morning...and were my bright spot in a day that included a bleak dentist appointment. Oh, why do we need to have teeth? They just cause problems! Apparently, my teeth are soft and I have a ton of cavities despite my incessant brushing and flossing. Just my luck!

Interview with Compassion Child

The highlight of my week was interviewing a young man by the name of Tony Beltran, who went through the Compassion International program in the Dominican Republic...He gushed with gratitude for every privilege his sponsor gave him with his monthly support so that he could enroll in the Compassion program as a kid. He explained that before Compassion, his family was so poor, he had to work to help support them, which didn't allow time to study. When Compassion intervened, he was able to get three meals a day, have clothes, and learn how much Jesus loves him...and even eat meat and ice cream on occasion! That just slayed me. We take so many things in America for granted.
And through Compassion, Tony was able to discover his passion for computers. The Compassion center had the only computer available in his village and the technology captured Tony's imagination. He went on to go to college to study computers and now he's at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago where he's training to be a youth minister someday. His dream is to return to the Dominican Republic and show kids that the way out of poverty isn't through crime--it's through education and extending God's love to others.
Jeff & I have the privilege of sponsoring a 10-year-old girl in the Dominican Republic...and after talking to Tony, I want to sponsor more! What a great program...it really changes and saves lives in the name of Christ.

Drama Queen Delaney

Tonight my hot date night with my husband consisted of watching Delaney perform in a musical called "Bugsy Malone"--the story of two New York City gangs in the 1920s. She certainly inherited the acting gene from her father. Jeff likes to write and act in dramas for our church...and even moved to L.A. straight out of college to try to make it in the business. I wouldn't be surprised if Delaney followed in her father's footsteps. Unfortunately, Jeff's acting dreams haven't come true...but it's fun for him to see his daughter enjoy something that brings such pleasure to his own life. I thought this was her best performance yet. In case you missed it, here's a little clip for your enjoyment:

Girl's Day Out

I enjoyed a pretty sweet girl's day out with Delaney this afternoon! I picked her up from rehearsal and we drove to Washington to go to Holland's Mercantile. I was in heaven! So was she. What a fun hang-out for kids and adults alike. It's like stepping into a candy store in the 1960's...you'll find Wax Lips, Charleston Chews...every imaginable candy you ate as a kid...and best of all, they even pick out the marshmallows from Lucky Charms cereal--you can scoop them out and buy 'em by the pound. Brilliant! There's even a kid's store in the back with magic tricks, sock puppets, ant farms...you name it, they've got it! For lunch Laney had nachos, chocolate ice cream, and a Pepsi. I also ordered shaved ice with Blue Raspberry syrup. I highly recommend this outing for families! I can't wait to go again and try their frozen hot chocolate!

Congratulations, Max!

Tonight Max celebrated the end of his baseball season with his team. His fabulous coach, Barry, threw the kids a pizza/pool party and praised each child for their accomplishments during the season as they came up to receive their trophies. He said Max was "consistent with every game, making solid hits and contact with the ball." He did a great job and learned that he's a leftie when it comes to batting...and that it's important to be a good sport.
I'm glad the kids enjoyed their summer activities but I'm kind of relieved as they're winding down for the summer...Delaney's got a million rehearsals for an upcoming play this weekend, but once that's over, we can really relax and just enjoy unstructured free-time in the summer-time!

The house that soared

We're about the last family in America to see the movie, "Up." It's really a love story of a man who fulfills the dream of his late wife by sending his house soaring to South America...and along the way discovers other adventures to spice up his life. I love the idea of creating an Adventure Book...a scrapbook of sorts to chronicle all the adventures we took and want to take in life. Too often I get so bogged down in the mundane day-to-day grind of life that I forget it can be magical...I'm in the process of planning the honeymoon I never had with Jeff and it's so much fun to dream and create an itinerary of endless possibilities. In a moment of weakness, it crossed my mind to cancel our trip to save money, but I really believe life is about creating lasting memories with your loved ones...and how can you put a dollar value on that?

Chore-Day!

For the past two weeks our family's been operating on vacation-mode. First came the 4th of July weekend in Michigan...then Jeff's brother and his wife stayed in town for a week, so we were out with them every night. This means the house is a wreck! So I designated Sunday "Chore Day"--for the whole family to help clean, not just me as usual! Jeff taught Max to mow the lawn today. It was pretty cute...Jeff supervised with his arms crossed but Max did all the heavy work. Laney officially has the messiest room in the house, so she's busy creating a space that would actually allow her to walk into her room without stepping on stuff! Now I've got to get to work on the kitchen...yuck...my least favorite part of cleaning up!

Chiefs Game

Tonight was another family affair. I took the kids, Jeff, and some of my in-laws to the Peoria Chiefs game. It was Faith & Family night with a post-game concert featuring Matthew West (I'll post a picture of Scott & I with Matthew in a bit once I get it from our promotions director). I haven't been to a baseball game in years. O'Brien Field is beautiful and it's fun to watch the Chiefs play. But I couldn't believe how long the game drags on. I think they should shorten it to six innings. Seriously. Who can sit through the 9th inning...and beyond if they tie? Oh, goodness! I'm happy they wrapped up fairly fast and the Chiefs won!
I'm exhausted...but the kids have indefatigable energy...once we returned home, they grabbed the sparklers and wanted to run around the yard with 'em. Seriously? I wanted to pass out! But here's a clip of their fun. Now it's time for me to crawl into bed:

Sacrifice

A dear friend called today to chat about life and relationships. She's dating a guy with kids and his divorce situation is similar to my husband's. My friend is at a crossroads in her relationship. What she really wants to know is: IS IT WORTH IT? Jeff and I laid on the couch tonight and talked and cried about the choices we made in our lives...how his past informs our present...how unfair it is to bear the burden for someone's poor choices. Jeff feels badly for me and is quick to hold me and say sweet things like, "I could not do this life without you. I need you to be strong. You're my favorite. I love you!" But the reality is, sometimes I want to crumble when I realize my paycheck will be footing the bill for a loss on a house that was never my responsibility to begin with...I'm stuck in a city thousands of miles away from home...and for the next ten years I'll have to shelve my needs in favor of those who won't appreciate it.
So my thoughts go back to my friend...I made a list of pros and cons for her...and on paper the cons far outweigh the pros...but then I think: How can you quantify love? Christ died on the cross and gave the ultimate sacrifice out of love for us. It made him unafraid of death and defeat and He was willing to give it all...out of love.
Life is awfully hard and some relationships are harder than others...But I really believe if you love someone so much, you'd be willing to do anything for them. I love my husband more than my own life and I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness so that he can be debt-free and be a good dad to his children. Love is what it's all about. So, that's what I'll tell my friend...that ultimately love makes every sacrifice worthwhile.

Vacation Video '09

Jeff...

As I type, I'm watching my husband sleep. I'm enjoying the sound of silence. Big family vacations are wonderful but it's oh-so-nice to decompress. My house isn't anything to write home about--trust me--but I'm so grateful to climb into clean sheets with my husband tonight. Sometimes I look at Jeff and I'm just overwhelmed by love for him. He's so snuggly and good-hearted. He also creates a lot of housework for me and I've given up trying to get him to bathe...but I wouldn't trade him for anything. He's so fun-loving and sweet. If we could just hole up in a hotel room for the rest of our lives and not be invaded by the world I'd be the happiest girl on the planet! But tomorrow, it's back to the grind! Ok, gotta go...Jeff wants chocolate chip cookies! Where's my mother-in-law when I need her?

Reflections on Family Life...

Our family vacation turned out to be pretty great once we all got over the initial shock of the cabin conditions. We enjoyed a gorgeous view of the lake and a personal fireworks show on the beach, a warm pool to wade in, and a quaint shopping strip just ten minutes away. My husband adores his family to pieces--he's the happiest and most relaxed when he's playing games with his brothers while his parents and the kids are milling around. Family is the end all and be all to Jeff.
The only downside of my weekend was calling my own family back in Hawaii to check in with life. I'm missing out on so many important moments. My grandmother's health is failing and I feel like I should really be there to offer support; my parents are celebrating holidays and birthdays without me in the loop; and I feel distant from my siblings because I'm not an active part of their lives.
It's hard for me to swallow giving up the people I most love and cherish so that my husband can enjoy lots of time with his kids. It's hard to be around intact families and not feel a pang of jealousy that my own family will always be divided. I didn't even realize how much I wanted an intact family of my own until I got married! But that will never be my reality. I'll always wonder "What if"...I had made different choices, how life would've panned out. But then I have moments when I look at my incredibly sweet husband who gives the best hugs in the world and loves me more than I'll ever understand...and all the work and sacrifice of making this blended family work feels worthwhile.

Picture time!

This is what it's all about: FAMILY! Here's a snapshot of my husband's fabulous extended family. There are about 14 of us altogether. Can you imagine getting a group like this together for a picture? It was quite a production. Now we're trying to decide on dinner. Surprisingly, we can't find a restaurant to accommodate 20 people!

Pottawatamie Day II

This vacation is looking up--way up! Jeff and I snuck out of the "resort" this afternoon and headed to St. Joseph's just 10 minutes away. It's the most darling town with quaint shops, ice cream parlors and cafes. I was in heaven! We had a lemon shake-up and a coffee ice cream cone at "Cabanas."

Earlier in the day, we took the kids to the beach. At least that's what they call it down here--it's really a lake with a stretch of sand. Max teased his cousin that bull sharks could be lurking in the waters. Maybe that's true! The kids had a ball. It was a nice sunny day with clear blue skies and a pleasant breeze. Jeff's a little sun-burned but it was fun. I relaxed in a lounge chair and started on my bible study.

So, I'm sitting here on the sand, working on my Beth Moore bible study, "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things" while listening to Michael Jackson's Thriller CD on my iPod. How does that compute? I'm fighting off a headache now...it's hard to take a nap in these cabins with the sun shining brightly and the smell of sunscreen wafting through. Hope you're enjoying your 4th of July wherever you are!

Big Family Vacation '09

So I've always wondered what hell was like. Now I know. It's the Pottawatamie Resort in Michigan. Here's a snapshot of my beauty of a bedroom where the mattress is brown and the curtains are see-through. So guess who wakes up at the crack of dawn? They gave us a thin towel-like material for a blanket so I was cold all night...and felt dirty inhaling the musty air of the cabin walls.
And check out this bathroom! Apparently, this is what $2,000 will get you for a July 4th weekend in Michigan. I feel most badly for my mother and father-in-law who are picking up the majority of the tab. The website is really misleading--now I'm a crusader who wants to warn people to steer clear of this place!
But alas, the heart of this vacation is really spending time with one another. As I speak the kids are happily swimming with their Aunts, Uncles, and cousins...Delaney had a sleep-over last night with a cousin she rarely sees, and in this snapshot Jeff is playing a game with his youngest brother, Peter, who he only sees every other year. It's been great to reconnect with Peter and Kira, who live in Seattle and don't get a chance to come up for a visit. So, the nightmare of this place aside, it's still nice to have family bonding time.