A Must Read!

If you're a stepmom, you've got to run to the nearest bookstore to pick up your copy of "Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way They Do" by Wednesday Martin. In fact, I'm making this required reading for my in-laws and circle of friends & family if they want to truly understand my life. Being a stepmom is a ton of work. A mixed blessing, if you will. Every other book I've read on the subject has been packed with bad advice, canned responses to complex problems, and sugarcoated to mask the difficult reality of blended family life.
Now, don't get me wrong--I've got a great relationship with my step-kids. They love me liberally and I love them. In fact, the other day my step-daughter told me she used to be sad about her parents' divorce but she loves me so much, she's glad things ended up the way they did. In her eyes, I'm anything but a "Stepmonster."
But moments of sweetness notwithstanding, there's a reason why divorce rates are fifty percent higher in remarriages with children than in those without. The complications are enormous...trying to fashion a new life out of the ashes of your spouse's nuclear family unit; navigating the incessant awkwardness of being confronted with ghosts from your spouse's past; taking in stride the dirty looks your stepkids' teachers throw your way at school functions (I just want to scream at Max and Delaney's teachers: "I AM NOT A HOMEWRECKER! THEIR MOM LEFT THEIR DAD...I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF THIS!" Because I'm younger than Jeff it's assumed he had a mid-life crisis and left his wife for someone else, which could not be further from the truth.
Not only is your role nebulous at best, but you're vilified in fairy tales (thanks, Disney, for the wicked stepmonster stereotype) and you're surrounded by well-meaning friends who chirp panned advice like "Treat them like they're your own." Well, what the heck is that supposed to mean? Especially if your parenting style differs from that of their parents...
Oh...I could go on and on...I could write a book of my own someday! There aren't many out there to encourage stepmoms along their journey and to validate how they feel. I'm passionate about raising the discourse of blended family life, especially in Christian circles where it's like the elephant in the room people don't know how to tackle so they're dancing around it.
If you feel the same way, buy this book! It's a great conversation starter...