Monday, June 22, 2009

Jon & Kate


We just wrapped up watching "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" as a family which was mildly uncomfortable given the fact that my husband's first marriage ended in divorce. It was obviously sad...but I think there are valuable lessons to be learned from watching the reality TV family. Marriage is a lot of work and no couple is immune to hardship. And I think all too often, couples with kids prioritize their children above their spouses! What a mistake! The most loving thing you can do for your children is to love your spouse well. I was really frustrated when they kept insisting that above all, they were committed to doing what's best for the kids. If they really loved their kids so much, they'd invest everything into creating a solid family foundation for them.
They're also kidding themselves if they think divorce will grant them freedom. It leads you into bondage. And second marriages are always harder than first marriages. There's so much more to negotiate, relationships are more complex, and it's a heck of a lot more work!
That being said, I do believe that God is the Great Redeemer. Of our screw-ups big and small. I know my husband struggled long and hard to reconcile his first marriage when it reached the breaking point because he knew how destructive it would be to his children. His prayer for an intact family wasn't answered...but God did show up...Jeff and I met and married... and we've shed a lot of tears and prayers to duct-tape our family together and do our best out of the brokenness and mistakes of our lives to stay true to our covenant and create a marriage that's lasting and true.
I'm certainly not an expert on marriage and do more wrong things than right...I've got an awful temper and a whole lot of issues to work through...But one thing I know for sure is that leaving this marriage will never be the answer...And even though it's the hardest thing I've ever signed up for--it's also the most rewarding.

1 comment:

Dawn said...

Thank you for an honest assessment of that whole mess. My husband and I were both married before and you're right about having to work even harder in this 2nd marriage. We are committed no matter what and God is honoring that commitment to Him, to each other, and to our children. We each had one child from our previous marriage and now most people don't know that they aren't related by blood. They are brothers, period. I'm personally praying for the Gosselin family. No matter the outcome, we all need people to intercede for us. :)