I'm the kind of girl who considers french fries a vegetable and popcorn a health food.
My husband is scared. Very scared. Before he dropped the kids off with me to go to his rehearsal, he gave me very specific instructions:
1. Read Bible devotions to the kids at 8:30
2. Pray afterwards
3. Have them read in their rooms for quiet time but lights out at 9 for Max, 9:30 for Laney.
Of course, I participate in this family ritual every night we've got the kids...but Jeff knows when the cat's away, the mice come out to play...
As he walked down the porch stairs, Max gave me a sly look and cuddled up to me saying, "You're the best!" Delaney exclaimed, "Yeah, people think you're sooooooo pretty! Can we watch a movie?" Max chimes in, "And eat popcorn, too?" Any parent in their right mind could see through these kids. But ok, I thought, I'll bite. So I popped in a movie. And popped some popcorn. And ok, maybe I snuck in some soda, too. I got so wrapped up in the movie, I lost track of time...until Delaney screamed, "DADDY'S HOME!!!" Within seconds, the kids flew up the stairs. And Jeff stepped in the door with popcorn on the floor and kid blankets everywhere. Uh-oh.
Oh, well. I think it's ok to have fun with the kids sometimes and break some rules. But of course, as Jeff pointed out, that comes with a double-edged sword. The kids don't respect my authority very much...and it's hard for me to follow through on discipline.
I think being a stepmom is a double-edged sword in itself. You're constantly fighting the stereotype of the "evil stepmom" (thanks, Disney!) and you're not a parental figure 100% of the time. The inherent trust of a bona fide parent just isn't there.
So I just try to do my best and pray about the rest...and have my husband pick up the pieces. That's what he's for, right? :)
1 comment:
Amen sister! I also have a blended family. My husband and I each had a son that we brought to our family... two only children suddenly thrust into being a brother on top of the stepdad/stepmom issue. In May we will celebrate 9 years. There are times for each of us that one parent "break the rules" that the other parent usually enforces. It does take effort to maintain the discipline but I also point out to the kids that there are certain rules that I would not break because their dad/stepdad is the head of our household.
Kids are smart and just because you say yes once awhile it doesn't have to mean that you are a pushover.
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