A few years ago I met a couple of kids who'd change my life forever. I love them dearly, but if I knew back then what I know now, I would've curled up in a fetal position and called a therapist pronto! Being a step-mom is a journey laced with lots of tears, sweat, and questions. In a culture that often vilifies step-moms (in fairy tales and folklore), it can be difficult to happily embrace your newfound responsibility once you marry someone with children. I've met a lot of step-moms over the years and no matter what our backgrounds, our concerns are the same: What is my role, how do I bridge the divide between my step-kids' two families, and how can I maintain sanity when I'm saddled with all the frustrations and financial stress of being a parent without the rewards and respect conferred to birth parents?
(I've searched high and low for books on this to help but to no avail)...
I'm still sorting through some of the answers to those questions...But I'm happy to say that I've finally made peace with my role in my step-kids' lives. I love them and I know they love me. Most importantly, I'm in love with their Daddy and the best thing I can do is to love their father well and create a nurturing and stable home environment amid the brokenness of their parents' divorce.
Mother's Day can be incredibly awkward for step-moms...But I'm going to take ownership of the day for myself and celebrate all that I've achieved as a "Bonus Mom" to my "bonus kids." I'm grateful to have a husband who honors my sacrifices...and if you're a step-mom, I just want to encourage you to celebrate the incredible investments you're making in your step-kids' lives even if you do all the work and get grief instead of glory!
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