A group of us ladies who work for the radio station got together for some good girl talk. Not surprisingly, the conversation quickly turned to relationships. We found that a surprising number of women want out of their marriages. In the past, men have gotten a bum wrap for having affairs and leaving their wives. But the tables have turned. Patty Dudley, who hosts What Matters Most from 7-midnight on 91.5 WCIC, sent us all a book entitled, "The Walk Out Woman" by Dr. Steve Stephens and Alice Gray, to help us understand this phenomena.
If you're a woman who's thinking of walking out on your marriage...or if you're a husband whose wife has threatened to walk out--I highly suggest you pick up this book. Let's face it: MARRIAGE IS LOT OF WORK! AND IF YOU'RE A IN A BLENDED FAMILY, THAT WORK IS DOUBLY HARD! I love my husband deeply but there have been times I've been overwhelmed by the desire to run away from the difficulties inherent in a blended family. On countless occasions, it was my husband who had to sit me down and reaffirm his love for me and communicate with me for hours on ways we need to show one another love and respect within the context of a high-octane marriage.
Jeff insists that we pray together every night, which has been a wonderfully bonding exercise. If we didn't keep the Lord at the center of our relationship and continually seek Biblical guidance, we'd just be another statistic! The other night, Jeff held me tight and said, "I've never felt so close to anyone because we're so honest with each other and share everything."
I just want to encourage you if you're on the brink of walking out, because I've been there. But I also know that sticking it out is so worth it. My life is so much richer because of Jeff and we're so emotionally and spiritually bonded together because we work so hard at our marriage. Divorce doesn't solve anything. I'm sad that my stepkids have to grow up in a divided family...We can't erase the pain of that situation, but we can work on creating some stability in this new family with the help of the Lord and love for each other.
Here are a couple of exercises to try:
1. List the words or actions your husband or wife uses that builds a wall.
2. Take the time to drive to a beautiful place that gives you peace. Think about some of the best memories of your marriage.
1 comment:
I totally agree with this. Once my husband started making excuses to skip church and refused to participate in nightly devotions with the kids and me, our marriage started going downhill. I don't see how non-Christians are able to keep good marriages going without God's presence, since He is the one who created it! Aloha, Lisa
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